Wednesday, 8 June 2011

My five minutes of fame

On my recent trip to England I was killing time at the railway station in Bath, waiting for a train connection.  A woman on the platform kept catching my eye and smiling at me.  It was a little unnerving.  Eventually she bounded up to me and our exchange went like this:
Woman: "Hello! How are you?"
Me, smiling: "Hello!  Very well thank you"
Woman: "How did you enjoy your holiday?"
Me, becoming bemused: "I had a lovely time, thank you"
Woman: "You went to Spain, didn't you?"
Me, becoming more bemused: "No, it was Italy"
Woman, a bit crest fallen: "Oh, I read it was Spain"
Me, the penny dropping: "No, it was Italy"
Woman: "Don't I know you off television?"
Me: " No, I'm a New Zealander visiting my family"
Woman, blushing furiously: "I'm terribly sorry!"
Me: "Don't worry, it will be nice to imagine being rich and famous for a little while"
Woman beats a hasty retreat down the platform and stands as far away from me as possible.
I stand there smiling and reflecting that if I really was rich and famous I would not be standing on a draughty platform waiting half an hour  for a suburban train.

Later my daughter-in-law trawls through anyone she can think of on television who looks remotely like me and comes up blank.  She concludes I must resemble someone off a daytime soap or some similar programme she never watches.  Now it's my turn to look crestfallen, my hopes of a lucrative career as a celebrity look-alike dashed.